New Year, New Blog..

Well well well, I did remember my Blogger password, after all. It has been a while...a long while. It seems as though every time I blog I spend at least half my time making excuses of why I have gone so long between posts. Although I do stay busy with two kids, I am not the only person that has given birth twice, yet still makes the time to do things that are very important to them.

Lately, I have been feeling really guilty about neglecting the blog and have realized that the reason I feel incredibly guilty is because it IS very important to me. I know that you are probably thinking that I can't be too busy if I have spent all of this time worrying about a freakin' blog, but that's just the thing...it took me awhile to figure out why I feel so guilty about neglecting it, but more importantly, why I have had no desire to blog when I love it so much. I can't even begin to count the days and nights that I have sat down with the intention to blog and just have had absolutely no motivation to do it. For those of you that are familiar with my love for writing, you know this is NOT like me at all.

I started this blog for two reasons: 1) my passion for writing 2) to document Hayes and Ella Bailey's lives. As for the first one, some people run to relieve stress...I write. I do not feel whole if I have not spent a lot of my time writing and my blog began as an awesome way to accomplish this. After a lot of thought about why this has changed, I finally realized that it is because of my second reason for starting the blog...to document the kids' lives.

This rationalization may seem a little strange to some, but just bear with the "Deep Blog Thoughts By Kristin" and I will explain. I LOVE the idea of using a blog as a "baby book" with lots of pictures, journaling their growth complete with all the precious little things they do, etc. That was exactly what I wanted to do, yet my plan was to one day have it printed as a book and given to both of my children...a precious keepsake. So, as I began blogging I found that I was really "holding my tongue" about some things and deciding to only document those fabulously fun moments that I wanted the kids to always remember.

But, what about those other moments....you know the ones where the dog puked in the floor, the baby crawled in the puke and the Momma puked cleaning dog puke off her daughter. You know....the normal days. Of course, it is one thing to let my children read about the crazy funny moments, but it's another thing to let them read about my issues with post-partum depression. So, eventually even the "happy" posts stopped, because they were only telling part of the story of our crazy, beautiful life.

I started thinking that although I don't want my children to read about our lives uncensored and trials I have endured as a mom, I want other mothers to be able to read about them and I NEED to write about them because in each one there has been a great lesson that has shaped a piece of my soul and I NEVER want to forget the amazingly beautiful moments OR the ones filled with stress.

Finally, it all made sense to me and I knew that I needed to completely renovate the blog. I needed to frame it in a different way, with a different purpose and a fresh start. I needed to write from my heart and be true to my authentic self, whether I was having a great day or stressed to the max. I needed to share anything that might in some small way help someone else that may be struggling with the same issue. I needed to document my kids in all their happiness, silliness and mischievousness. I needed not a blog that could be given to my children as a keepsake, but one that I can hold many years down the road and remember everything...from the giggles to the tears.

Coming soon will be a new title, a new domain name, a new design and new motivation to use my love of writing to soak up every memory from a life I so love....being Hayes and Ella Bailey's Mommy.

Stay tuned and I will keep you all updated on the blog formerly known as "And Baby Makes Four"