My little firecracker

"A strong will creates a determination that grabs life by the throat and makes it happen. Channeled for good, it can make wonderful things happen."~Bette Dowdell

Last week, I gave an update on Ella Bailey and promised one on Hayes to come. Although I am calling them "updates" I realized yesterday that I have never really blogged about who Hayes is. Sure I have told lots of stories about him and things he did, but nothing about his personality, and boy does he have A LOT of personality! When referring to children, you always hear people say, "Oh that is just a stage he/she is going through and they will grow out of it." Well, I have been telling myself that about Hayes' daily actions for a little over two years and a few months ago I finally came to the realization that these aren't "stages" that he is going through, but his personality instead.

Since I am describing Hayes I could actually save you a lot of time and you could quit reading this blog post now. I could tell you to look up the definition of a strong-willed child and that pretty much sums up Hayes. He is a firecracker and there is never a dull moment when he is around. Every single time that he wants something and doesn't get it, you would think the world just ended...breakdown! Although there is a lot of sweat and tears (and blood sometimes too), parenting a strong-willed child can be such a blessing. Of course there are (many) days that I have to remind myself of the quote above by Bette Dowdell and focus on the fact that it truly is a great thing. The part I pray continuously about is that David and I will be sucessful in the ultimate responsibility of "channeling it for good."

I constantly think about something my Paw Paw said one time about my cousin, Judd, who was also the epitome of a strong-willed child and someone that Hayes reminds me so much of. Paw Paw said, "As long as they keep making kids like Judd, they will always keep building prisons." This cracks me up!! I will never forget one particular story about Judd when he was around Hayes' age. He had gotten in trouble and my uncle spanked him and was making him stay in their bedroom. My uncle told him that he could come out of the room and wouldn't get another spanking if he would just tell them that he wouldn't do whatever it was that got him in trouble again. Well,  after about an hour of Judd sitting in the room crying, my mom went in and said, "Judd, just tell them that you can behave and they will let you come out and play." To that he replied, "Well, I don't know if I can!!!!" That is SO something Hayes would say!!!

I knew that we were in trouble when we spanked Hayes for the first time and he simply gritted his teeth and smiled. Then, we tried a "time-out" stool and the only way that would work is if we physically glued his butt to it. Then, we tried locking him in his room for time out by using a child safety lock (don't call DHR, it was the pediatrician's suggestion.) Well, that would have worked fine if we were ok with having all the contents of the toy boxes, dresser and closet strung out all over his bedroom. Not to mention the fact that it didn't take him long to figure out the child-proof lock....and this is only a few disciplinary techniques that we have tried with Hayes.

But, I am not gonna lie...I am not much of a disciplinarian, and this actually surprises me. My mom was the disciplinarian in my family and I always thought that I would be the same way. However, even when Hayes is at his worst, sometimes it physically nauseates me for him to get a spanking. If he ever got a spanking with a "hickory" or a belt like I did (which we will never do), I am quite sure I would probably throw up. I don't know why I am like this, but it absolutely kills me. Now, let me pause and say that I know many of you are probably frowning as you read this because you don't believe in spanking, which is fine. However, we have tried everything else and spanking (with our hand) is what works best for Hayes. Time out or other disciplinary actions may work best for Ella Bailey, and if so, that is what we will do with her. Yet as much as it kills me inside to spank (or see David spank) Hayes, I will never let Hayes know that and it is what we will continue to do while it works. As much as I hate it, I know that it is necessary and teaching him right from wrong is the best gift we can give him.

We have also found that consistency is key for Hayes. For example, if you tell him not to hit he will smile, get in your face and act like he is about to hit you. That child will test you to the limits! That is why threats are worth nothing with him. You can tell him not to do something and he is going to do whatever it is you told him not to do with a big 'ole smile on his face, just to test you and then start screaming apologies once you get up and show him that you will follow through on the threat. God love him, though!

I have talked about all the negative aspects of Hayes' strong-willed personality, but I don't have near enough time to blog about all the positives. I said earlier that he had a lot of personality and I mean A LOT! I swear that he makes me laugh until I cry atleast a few times a day and many days my abs are sore when I go to sleep at night from laughing at him. I always say that his mission in life is to crack us up, because all he does is look for something to make us laugh. If there is silence in the room, he will start making funny faces or say "turn on some music, Mama" and start shaking his booty. He will truly do anything for a laugh!

He is such an attention hog, which drives me nuts sometimes because he absolutely cannot play by himself, and if for some reason he is playing with something by himself, it is constantly "watch mama, look at this, watch what I am doing". But, it also makes for constant laughter and I will take that any day. There are so many things that he says/does that I never want to forget and I really need to start putting them in the blog, so at the end I am going to write a few things that he has said/done in the last couple of days.

But, back to the great parts of his personality...as much meaness as he can pour out at times, he can pour out even more love and sweetness. There is no grey area for Hayes. It is either black or white and everything he does is with 100% of his heart, and this is amazingly beautiful to me. Just like he makes me burst out in crazy laughter every day, he also brings me to tears by the sweet things he says daily. It is so true that little boys love their mamas and this one has captured my heart! For example, I had a root canal Tuesday and my tooth was hurting and he asked me what was wrong. When I told him he replied, "Awww, just let me hold ya, mama. You will feel better." Pure sweetness.

Speaking of sweetness, I am constantly amazed at how much he loves Ella Bailey. I was so worried about how he would react to her arrival and actually lost many nights of sleep over it. I figured that he would get used to her, but I had no idea that he would love her so dearly. He really does think that she hung the moon and although I know there will be many fights and screaming matches, I also know in my heart of hearts that this level of love will never change. The beautiful thing is that she already loves him as much. She will not take her eyes off of him and she grins from ear to ear if he even looks her way. We were all cuddling a couple of nights ago and he said, "Mama, I really like Ella Bailey. She is just soooo pretty." Nothing melts my heart more than those words!

As you probably know, Ella Bailey was very much not planned and we really didn't want another child for a few years, one reason being that Hayes was such a handfull. But as always, it happened on God's perfect timing and I couldn't be happier that they will only be two grades apart in school. God is good!

Well, I can't give an update on Hayes without talking about all the things that he is "in to" right now. First of all, I am SO amazed at the leap in language development after two years. I just love that I can now have a normal conversation with him. He NEVER stops talking and asks about a million questions a day, many of which I don't even know the answer to such as "Mama, what makes the rain just stop." Hmmm, let me tweet James Spann and get back to you on that one, Hayes.

Robert Brault once said, "A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to" and I believe this with all my heart. When Hayes started talking to I promised myself that I would never get too busy to really listen to him, and listening to Hayes is a full-time job! However, I know that one day I will give anything in the world to hear that little two-year-old voice in my ear again.

Hayes' favorite hobby right now is definately fishing! He caught his first fish at the pond beside his Betty Boo and Granddaddy's house and he has been addicted ever since. My mom bought him a totally cool rod & reel and tackle box and you would have thought she had bought him a new car. He was pumped!

He also loves to swim. His Betty Boo (David's mom) took him swimming a while back and told me that he was going underwater. So I thought, ok he is probably sticking half his face under water for .5 seconds. Well, I went swimming with him and he wanted to jump off the side. When I put my hands out to catch him he said, "Noooo, you don't catch me. I go all the way under."

He is also a BIG dancer and you can bet your life that if there is music, Hayes is gonna be shakin' it!

He also loves to play "rodeo" where we turn on some loud country music and either David or I have to stand up and wave an American flag continuously while Hayes rides around the house on a stick horse. Then David and I have to ride (there will be no pictures shown of this.) So here is Cowboy Hayes during a couple of the rodeos....

 (We can't keep clothes on him either!)

And now for my fav update on Hayes....he is now fully potty trained!! Yay! He was doing really well, but totally regressed when Ella Bailey was born, which our pediatrician told us was expected. So we didn't push it at all and one day it just clicked, and he hasn't looked back since. He still wears a pull-up at night, but that is the only time, and it is just second nature now. It is so true that they will do it when THEY are ready! But here is the funny part....for a while he would refuse to poo poo in the potty. He would even beg to put a diaper back on when he had to poo poo. (By the way, you know you are old when you talk about poo poo this much in a blog post). But, he eventually did it and has been obsessed with doing it ever since. The part that is funny is that when he is at home he poo poos in the potty a bit differently than most....

Whatever works, ya know?

So, for the sake of my terrible memory (which can be a blessing when reminiscing about my high school and college days), I am going to post some funny things that Hayes has done/said in the last couple of days, and I am determined to continue to do this for both babies in future blog posts.

• First of all, Hayes loves pizza and can identify the signs of Pizza Hut/Little Ceasars/Cici's/Mellow Mushroom/Dominos/Hungry Howies from a mile away in any city we are in. Obviously, he can't read but you better believe he has those signs memorized!
• This is not from the last few days, but I don't want to forget it....As I mentioned earlier, it took Hayes a while to poo poo in the potty and I told him that if he did I would get him a surprise (I am huge proponent of bribery). So he and Jennifer called me during the day celebrating when he did and said he wanted a movie for his surprise. That afternoon I took him to Target to pick out a movie. After deciding on one we went to checkout and he handed the movie to the cashier, grinned from ear to ear and exclaimed loudly "I pooped in the potty!!" She started dying lauging, gave him a high five and said, "Good job! So I see you got a movie." Hayes said, "Yep. Did you poo poo in the potty? Want to go watch it with me?"
• The other night, I was doing stuff around the house and Ella Bailey was in the swing. Hayes kept messing with her and I asked him about five times to leave her alone. Finally, I said loudly "Hayes I told you to leave her alone!!" He replied, "Um, she IS my sister!!!"
• He also asks me where MiMi, Paw Paw, Lexie (the dog), etc. is and I always tell him that they are in Fort Payne. So the other night when he was going to sleep he said, "Mama, does Jesus live in Fort Payne too?"
• We let him watch a movie while going to sleep (I know, I know) and since EB was born we have had to lay down with him while he goes to sleep (I know, I know). David was lying down with him the other night and I came in to switch places with David. When I laid down Hayes said, "Mommy can I watch a movie." I figured David just hadn't turned the movie on, so I went and put a movie in. When I laid back down Hayes was silent for about five minutes (very strange). Finally, he said "Mommy, Daddy turned the movie off." So I said, "Why did he do that? Did you get in trouble?" He said, "Yeah, I just couldn't stop getting up." (Apparently his conscience finally got the best of him.) So last night we were eating dinner and I said, "Daddy, did Hayes tell you that he told me to turn the tv on last night?" David said, "Hayes you know that I turned the tv off because you were in trouble, so why did you ask Mommy to turn it on?" To which Hayes replied, "Just please talk to mommy about it."
• I was changing clothes and Hayes was in the room playing with his fake camera. He all of a sudden started yelling "Ohhhhhhh Ohhhhhhh Ohhhhhhh". I asked him what was wrong and he said, "I just took a picture of your behind."

Last, but certainly not least....Every night after devotion, prayers and all that, I sing a verse of a song from one of my favorite childhood books to Hayes. Last night, I was singing "I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living my baby you'll be." Hayes looked up at me with those precious baby blues and said, "You'll always be my mommy." In moments like that I know that I can deal with any permanent stain on the carpet or tantrum in Wal-Mart, because that, my friend, is true love.