Well, I am currently lying in bed with a stomach virus. Ugh. I thought that I had escaped it, since it has been a week since David had it, but I woke up sick during the night Monday. Thankfully, I feel better today and am able to keep food down, but just hoping this fever breaks soon. I am hoping that Hayes does not get it, especially since his birthday party is this weekend. We sent him to our fabulous babysitter Jennifer's house yesterday and today, and I have locked myself in the bedroom the last couple of nights. Not to mention, that I have been spraying Lysol like it is nobody's business. Hopefully, he will stay well and I will feel better soon, because not being able to smooch all over him is absolutely killing me!
On a positive note, my first trimester if officially over and I could not be happier for several reasons! First, I just don't remember being this tired when I was pregnant with Hayes, but chasing a toddler around could have a lot to do with it. I cannot wait to have a little more energy. Fatigue+hormones+no caffeine= pissy Kristin!
As many of you know, I have had a pretty rough three months with kidney stones, being hospitalized twice, etc. I also had a threatened miscarriage, and we were praying so hard for that little heartbeat to keep on beating. I had a doctor's appointment today, the baby looks great, the heartbeat is very strong and Dr. Garrard thinks we are finally "in the safe zone." Yay! What an amazing blessing!
Since I have been lying in the bed the last couple of days, I have had a lot of alone time and a lot of time to think, and I have been thinking about this little angel constantly. Since I shared Hayes' birth story previously, I thought I would write a little about this pregnancy, how we found out we were pregnant, etc.
Well, as I mentioned earlier, I had a doctor's appointment this morning and heard the heartbeat for the first time during this pregnancy. With this baby and Hayes, every single time I have heard that little heartbeat inside me, I have gotten butterflies in my stomach. Best feeling ever! When I was pregnant with Hayes, it would always take them about 3 or 4 minutes to find his heartbeat because he would be bouncing around everywhere, and it would scare me to death. However, the second Dr. Garrard put the doppler on my abdomen you could hear the little heart just beating away. Hoping that means this baby will be a little more cooperative than Hayes :)
Although I was overjoyed after hearing the baby's heartbeat and getting such a great report, I must admit that I left my appointment a little dissapointed for other reasons. You see, patience has never been one of my strongest attributes. Ok, I downright suck at being patient. So, not knowing the sex of this baby is absolutely killing me!! It would be amazing to have that gender "surprise" at birth, but there is absolutely no way I could do it. Beside, when I was pregnant with Hayes I just loved feeling him move inside me, knowing he was a boy and being able to call him by name. With this baby, I am even more anxious to find out the sex!
When I was pregnant with Hayes, Dr. Garrard told me that UAB had recently started doing a nuchal translucency scan, which is an ultrasound that tests for Down Syndrome and other genetic disorders. The insurance I had at the time completely covered the scan, so I had it done. I was 13 weeks at the time and the doctor who did the scan told us that they could likely tell the sex of the baby if we wanted to know. OF COURSE we wanted to know and there was Hayes in all his glory with his legs spread wide open. Awesome!!
So, of course, I was expecting to find out the sex of this baby around 13 weeks, which would be right about now. I couldn't wait to see Dr. Garrard today to schedule the scan. When he called to schedule it, he finds out that this group (which is the only group in the state that does these scans so early) does not accept our new insurance. Umm, what?!? Got to be kidding me! So, Dr. Garrard told me that it was ok, because I shouldn't be too concerned about testing for these genetic disorder at my age and I told him that I wasn't....I just wanted to know the sex!! I told him that I have endured enough pain in the last three months and I need my glory, and he told me patience is what I need :)
So, I packed up my patience, went home, got on the Internet and scheduled an appointment with Images of Life in Montgomery, where you can pay for a gender determination at 16 weeks. Only 3 weeks to go! :) Of course, I constantly get asked the question "Do you want a boy or girl this time?" Well, I want a girl. Badly. Granted, with my obsession with pink and with all things girly, we would probably have to file bankruptcy, but I want that girl!!! David desperately wants a girl, too. Since I found out I was pregnant, I have actually pretty much decided that I will be disappointed if I found out I am having a boy. Of course, I just want it to be healthy, but I am just being honest folks. However, the last few days I have been thinking a lot about another little boy and I have decided that I won't actually be disappointed. I just can't stop thinking about having two boys so close in age, playing sports together, etc. It is almost as if I want a little girl for David and myself, but I want a little boy for Hayes. As for my gut feeling, I have no doubt in my mind that it is a boy. David's brothers are all boys, they have boys, etc., and I just don't think a little girl is in the cards for us. Here is to proving me wrong, though! We will see what God has in store for us in three weeks!
It has truly amazed me how different this pregnancy has been than my pregnancy with Hayes. It has been like night and day from day one. Speaking of day one, I will step back to that July night when we found out we were expecting baby #2 (for those of you who don't know the story.) Well, I was on birth control (and using other preventive measures), but apparently God had other plans for our family. Honestly, I was anything but ready for another baby and we had planned to wait a year or longer before even trying again. Guess our planning skills are a little off.
As I have mentioned previously, kidney stones are the "norm" for me when I am pregnant. I had them throughout my pregnancy with Hayes and I have also had them throughout this pregnancy. Well, Hayes and I were in Fort Payne visiting my family in July and I started having this terrible pain that felt just like the pain when I had stones. It finally became unbearable and Mom talked me into going to the ER, so while Mom kept Hayes my Dad took me to the ER. For those of you who know my dad, that part really enhances the story! After four hours of medication and tests, the ER doctor came in. He said "You have four stones in your right kidney and by the way, you are also pregnant." I seriously almost fell out of the bed. I couldn't have been in any more shock and I looked over at my Dad and you could literally see the color draining from his face. Then, Dad just started laughing and I just started crying and crying and crying. So, just like last time, I had to break the news to David balling crying over the phone.
Lately, I have been praying constantly about the feelings of guilt I have about how upset I was when I found out I was pregnant this time. I have several friends who have issues with infertility and I know that EVERY child is a blessing from God, but some times in the moment we can be downright selfish. A million things ran through my mind....I wanted to start working full-time again, I wasn't ready for another rough pregnancy, I had just got Hayes out of the "baby" stage and wasn't ready for another one, I knew the timing was all wrong.....I, I, I. Well, while I was busy moping over "I", God reminded me that "He" was in charge. When I was six weeks, I awoke with severe bleeding and cramping, and there was no doubt in my mind that I was miscarrying. I went straight to the doctor and as I was lying on the table waiting for the ultrasound all I could think was "I have spent all these weeks feeling like this baby was such an inconvenience in my life at this time and now I would literally give my own life to see a little heart beating on that monitor." And there it was. Thank you God for reminding that EVERY child is an amazing blessing and that YOUR timing and YOUR plan is all that matters. Thank you God for giving me that little reminder and from that moment on making my heart and soul cling to that little blessing inside my belly and love it unconditionally. Thank you God.
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