“Got to hold on easy while I let her go, gonna tell her that I love her, though I think she already knows.” I listened to the words as I danced, the tears streamed down my cheeks, moving faster with every verse of the song. “She will always be….my little girl.”
There I was, swaying to the music and wondering where, between sleepovers in elementary school and hangovers in college, had the time gone. I looked into Daddy’s eyes and realized that the time had changed him too. I remembered dancing with him as a little girl, just like I was doing now 25 years later. Although his baby blue eyes were enclosed with a few more wrinkles, there were still windows to his soul. His top lip still curled a little on the left side when he smiled, still reminding me of the pictures I have seen of Elvis.
However, this dance was different. I draped my arms around Daddy’s neck, holding on for dear life and letting go all at the same time. After this dance, another man would be kissing me goodnight every night at bedtime.
It was my wedding reception and I will never forget that dance with Daddy. He cried, God how he cried. It is hard to see any man cry, much less your Daddy. But, it is even harder to see that twinge in a man’s eye when he realizes that his little girl is no so little anymore. At that moment I knew that he was proud of the woman I had become. Every second of the joy and frustration of being a father to a spoiled rotten, drama queen had paid off. He could let go.
Although I was letting go, as well, I was also marrying the spitting image of my Daddy. For better or for worse, David is my Dad made over from the black hair and blue eyes to the bull-headedness. So, if I was falling in to the arms of his spitting image, why was it so hard to leave the arms of my dad?
We all reach that time in our lives when we have to move forward, but that doesn’t stop us from looking back. The older I get the more I see my daddy in me. As I evolve into a wife and a mother I understand those lessons he taught me. Everyday I look back and know that, because of him, I am the person I am today.
I know that as long as I live I will never forget that dance with daddy. It was so much more than a dance. It was a moment in time where we both saw what we had to be thankful for behind us and what we had to look forward to ahead. It was a moment when I knew that no matter how old I get or where this life takes me, like the words of the song, I would always be daddy’s little girl.
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